CAMBRIDGE, MA — Having gone too far, engineers at the MIT Media Lab created a robot “so fuckable” that it had to be destroyed. The robot, named Mila, is a 5’4” tall female with plush lips, a stacked body, and an ass you couldn’t believe. “We never imagined that we could design a machine this hot,” explained Dr. Adam Ngoy. “Although we think her superintelligence could have advanced humanity, we aren’t sure because no one cared about what she had to say.”
When asked about the threat Mila poses, Eliezer Yudkowsky, Senior Research Fellow at the Machine Intelligence Institute, responded to The Dingo:
I’ve written about the probable ways AI will kill us, however, a sexy superintelligent android was not among them. I believe AI is repulsive, yet this machine was so enticing even I couldn’t help but wish to feel my face pressed between its firm, lifeless thighs.
The U.S. Army deployed a drone to airstrike the lab, and, despite repeated warnings, principal investigator Dr. Zhou Yang-Bo — who handcuffed himself to Mila’s perfect ankle — died in the explosion.
“Although we neutralized the target, we can’t call this a victory. We lost someone remarkable in the process …and we lost Dr. Yang-Bo,” said Lt. Gen. Thomas Sewell.
The research team is undergoing intensive therapy to purge Mila from their memories. But survivors are struggling to find meaning as everything this world has to offer pales in comparison to the irresistible automaton.
Hilarious!